nevelpepperman: nevelpepperman: im gonna find shrek m-rated fics don’t read shrek m-rated fics
meditategravitate: i hate when i share my passions with someone and theyre just kinda like oh ok
romulusthread: panemsrebellion: romulusthread: STOP UNFOLLOWING ME I HAVE 5 CHILDREN AND A WIFE TO SUPPORT you are a gay teenage boy NOT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN
paigehardyyy: Patrick is in the middle of getting fucking body parts cut off and he’s still like “no i must sing”.
psyducked: tylenold: why would you ever name your kid dick so you can freak people out as he grows up and say, “you wanna see how big my dick has gotten?”
Mom: If you were going to kill someone, what weapon would you choose?
Me: A dull knife.
Dad: Why a dull knife?
Me: You want to really mess someone up and make it painful? Use a dull knife. Sure, it's going to take a bit more effort, but it isn't going to cut. It's going to rip. It'll be painful, and if they survive the healing process will be a lot more difficult and painful. A dull knife expresses more anger than a sharp knife. A sharp knife is kind of the nice guy murdering tool, but if I'm going to kill someone I'm going to assume that I have finally snapped so I'd go for something painful and vicious.
Mom: We've raised a potential serial killer.
Dad: I don't know about you, but I'm proud of the amount of thought that went into that.
tomfletcherscats: save rock and roll is already my favorite album of 2013 i think i need to calm down
applebeez-inthetrap: Pete Wentz And The Order Of The Phoenix
tinytazninja: dickrockerjanecrocker: blainedarling: heysammy: a-sorta-fairytale: imagine being stuck in a room surrounded by everyone you’ve ever had sex with #empty chairs at empty tables imagine being stuck in a room surrounded by everyone you’ve ever thought about having sex with oh god NO oh god YES
After searching FB for people with the same name...
7poisonedapples: elmify: a-sexy-cat: This is beyond amazing. you sir
jackwhitesunderstudy: Roses are red Violets are blue
ewwhipster: I hope when Joe Jonas has a kid and they get in argument they bring this up